While I fumble my way through MySQL, PHP and Perl on my web server I’ve decided to take a break and add a new feature to my portion of the Blagosphere. Besides, I still have to get the required Sorceress hat and cape….writing code is really pointless without the appropriate props.
Ask Canhamiana will answer questions related to hormones, transition and related subjects. The first question comes from the ever fun and sometimes interesting Hormone list.
“Oh God! Holy Crap! Jesus Freaking Christ , Damn!”
“Oh God I’m in pain….Shit! What am I doing to myself?"
“My Lord this hurts like hell!”
“FUCK ME! Oh My God, Holy Shit!!!!!!!” (repeat this as many times at it takes…as loud as you can)
None of these prayers will help with the unimaginable pain you will experience, but yelling about it does help to some degree.
It helps to fortify your courage with a few quarts of gin or a quarter ounce of quality California sinsemilla before beard ripping. That is if you’re not an alcoholic/addict in recovery. If you are….eat some Motrin, call your sponsor, and hang out with the eleventh step.
Ice packs help after the ripping. So does crying. However, you will be crying all through the violence of the beautification process. Smear some overpriced soothing facial glop over the red, sore, and maybe swollen skin. Make sure the overpriced glop is not alcohol based or you’ll be saying your prayers again.
Don’t forget that once you smear the wax on…..you are committed to ripping wax off. It helps to anticipate the upcoming agony by counting 1-2-3…then chickening out 7 or 8 times before working up the courage to actually rip out a waxy wad of facial hair on 3.
Remember…very few women in transition are fortunate enough to experience the agony and ecstasy of ripping their facial hair out by the roots.
Have fun.
Canhamiana
