If you want fragrance….Go buy buy a rose.

I haven’t written anything in a while.  I’ve been busy being lazy.  That’s not true…..I’ve been busy doing things instead of sitting in front of my computer screen.

Anyway, I am an orchid grower.  I turned out to be a pretty good grower as well.  My specialty is of course, Cattleya.  I admire them, I adore them, and I love growing and breeding them.  I can tell you there is not a day where I don’t enter the grow house or the stud house and see an amazing cattleya in bloom I have not seen before.  I am never disappointed by these plants and my passion for them continues to grow.

However, I really don’t like selling my beautiful Cattleya to the general orchid buying public.  Serious collectors, sure, they’re fine and know what what an orchid is and how to grow it.  Other growers and breeders….oh yeah, no problem.  Making deals,  trading, and not a little bit of larceny is a lot of fun between growers.  Not to mention borrowing pollen from a particular plant when heads are turned…..

Oh, the general public tho…..I shouldn’t bitch. They keep the nursery alive.  But, from several years of experience now I am reasonably sure that when someone signs their credit card slip….they’re signing the death warrant for that beautiful, healthy and fine Cattleya.

Death visits those plants in several horrible ways.

Death by over watering.  The roots rot and the plant slowly chokes and dies.

Death by under watering.  The plant just dries out and expires.

Death by love.  The plant is divided and/or repotted at the wrong time in it’s growth cycle.

Death by scale and mites….the plant is sucked dry.

Death by fire.  The plant is placed in direct sun and very literally cooks to death.

Death by cold.  Orchids are tropical plants. they don’t like being left out in temps under 40 degrees for very long. The other way they die of cold is being left in an AC draft where they choke and die from a lack of humidity.

I’ve seen my beautiful plants returned to the nursery in all of these conditions, and some not listed…..all with wide eyed owners wondering what’s wrong with the plant.

I’ve pronounced them all dead and given them appropriate funerals in the nearest trash can.

And if the above is not enough…now they want fragrance.  They want the orchids they kill to smell nice too. There used to be a time when fragrance in a Cattleya was a footnote.  Cattleya were prized for their color, flower size and substance and of course their shape.  Fragrance was not an issue.

Lately however, fragrance has become a big issue.  Well OK, along with the economy.

“Which one smells prettiest and costs the least?”

Answer: None.  Go to Home depot and buy a $10.00 Dendrobium!

I don’t know which Cattleya smell pretty because I don’t care…I’m one of those old school growers…..and Cattleya aren’t cheap.

I had a quarterly sale a few weeks ago and I was bombed with questions about fragrance.  I sold plants based on their sent alone. It mattered little what the flower looked like, or it’s quality.  It sold because it smelled pretty.  I am saddened by this.

During the sale I was visited by The Lady Pancake as well.  She’s the older woman who is never going to spend $25.00 on a Cattleya, but will occupy my time asking about fragrance and arguing over price.  She  shoved her nose so far into the throat  of three different semi alba Cattleya blooms to smell them…and leaft medium beige makeup smeared on the lip, petals and sepals  in her wake.  She even bent and creased the lip on one of them. Did she buy anything?  Are you kidding?

And so it goes.

It’s all about fragrance now….and the fragrance must smell like something they can recognize.  Chocolate is a favorite.  So is vanilla, coconut and anything smelling like citrus.

“Oh honey, lets buy this one. It smells like lemons!”

Who gives a shit if the lemon smell is produced by an near perfect green flowered Cattleya called Ports of Paradise?  You know, it produces a large 7 to 8 inch bright green, long lived flower with a thick waxy substance.  The petals and sepals are flat and shaped beautifully.  The lip is wide, flat and carries a beautiful ruffle along its margin…..Oh right, it smells like lemon. Silly me.

Blc. Ports of Paradise ‘Emerald Isle’ FCC/AOS

Oh what the hell, I think I’ll begin work on breeding a hybrid that smells like cookies and cream.  Who cares what they look like, I’ll sell thousands.

Canhamiana

The Black Diamond

• Dec. 19th, 2008 at 7:16 AM

Orchids have an annoying trait.  If they get shocked or they get sick you don’t see any reaction for a week or two…..and then the plant crashes over night.  The most common examples of a crash are dropping leaves or bud blasting.  In extreme cases the plant suicides.

Well, it got cold out a week or so ago and I was hoping the Black Diamond would not be bothered by it much.  I didn’t get my way as it blasted all three of those big fat and beautiful flower buds yesterday.  Such is the way of the twitchy bifoliate Egyptian Queen hybrids.

As I have mentioned in several previous posts, the Black Diamond is a much coveted and revered hybrid among growers.  Every grower wants one and they command high prices.  One was sold on EBay recently for several hundred dollars…….and it was a small three bulb division.

There’s also a persistent myth about every Black Diamond ever owned by anyone…….That their Black Diamond is a piece of the original Stuart plant registered in 1984.  I’m serious.  Everyone who owns a Black Diamond has a piece of the original plant.  It makes me wonder where all the clones went.  There weren’t a lot of clones made, but gee, where did they all go?

I saw a very poor example of a Black Diamond exhibited at the last orchid show I went to.  It had 8 skinny 4 to 8 inch pseudo bulbs with one badly opened and shaped flower.  When I asked the grower where he got the obviously young clone pushing up its first flower he insisted it was a piece of the original Stewart Black Diamond.  Such is the myth, status and devotion to this plant.

Another grower and I were talking about the plant and it being an obvious young, (for an orchid that’s 7 to ten years) clone.  He then mentioned that he had three blooming sized babies he bought from a grower out in California for $200.00 each.  Should I be interested in acquiring one for my stud collection, my price was $250.00.  I told him I possessed a mature monster Black Diamond in the stud collection already and invited him to come out to the nursery and visit it.

Apparently someone has cloned the Black Diamond again and babies are available.  That’s a good thing.  Is the Black Diamond in the stud collection a piece of the original Stewart plant?  What do I care? It’s an Egyptian Queen “Black Diamond”.  A sister of “Inner Fire and “Desert Eve”, my three Queens. That’s all that matters to me.

Canhamiana and Pot. Egyptian Queen “Black Diamond”  HCC/AOS

• Location:The Stud House
• Mood: awake
• Music:The English Beat: I Confess